Diet Desperation

It's Day 6 of my diet and I must confess that I think I've gone a little far with it. On Thursday evening, I had a really nasty headache. According to the Tony Ferguson guide, this is to be expected due to the massive change in diet. So I took a painkiller and tried to ignore it.

Yesterday, I cooked sausages, cabbage and broccoli for dinner. As the kitchen began to heat up, the headache returned but I also felt almost nauseous and a quite light headed. The Other Half suggested I have an apple just to boost my energy until dinner was ready. I resisted at first, unwilling to take on any extra calories. But after a few minutes, it became almost impossible to concentrate and so I relented and ate an apple while cooking dinner.

As I was washing up after dinner, it struck me that what had happened was not normal and not healthy. It reminded me of a ridiculous diet during my teens, where I basically starved myself and lost far too much weight. I almost fainted a few times but no matter how much my friends told me that I needed more food, I wouldn't eat more than a piece of fruit or maybe a slice of toast. It became an obsession.

I must not let that happen again. I have realised that my self esteem has actually dropped to about where it was back then. I must keep reminding myself that I want to be healthy and a healthy weight, not just skinny. I need energy to look after my Little Monster, to look after the house and to look after myself. It's all too easy to become fixated on weight loss. I'm glad I had this realisation at this point. After finishing the washing up last night, I had a low fat packet of crisps and didn't even feel guilty afterwards. The diet isn't over but I'm going to calm things down a bit. My health is not really suffering from my weight but it will suffer badly if I don't eat enough.

So on with the diet...but in a healthy manner!