Romantic tradition or forced consumerism?

Today is Valentine's Day. A day which seems to spark far more controversy than one might think of a celebration of romance and romantic love. From personal experience, people seem to fall into four categories on this subject:

• There are those who insist that their partner spend an immense amount of cash on gifts and dinner in an expensive restaurant. 
• There are those who like to give their loved one a small, thoughtful gift and perhaps have some quality time alone, perhaps to have a nice dinner. 
• There are those who resent being forced to show love for their partner on a particular day. These people often deliberately choose a different day to have a romantic dinner and exchange gifts as a protest to the official Valentine's Day. 
• There are those who believe the entire celebration to be simply based on card-making, flower-selling, chocolate-manufacturing corporations (run, of course, by the forces of evil) wanting to make lots of money. These people tend to make a lot of noise about their opinions and are often met with rolling eyes from those in the other three categories. 

Personally, I fall into the second category. I hand made the Other Half a card and, using the power of the internet, have given him a lovely book of photographs of us over the years, complete with little captions of my memories associated with each picture. Well thought out and, I think, appreciated. The Other Half, although appreciative of my efforts and willing to buy a little something for me, seems to fall into the third category. He doesn't seem to like the idea that romance is scheduled, which I can understand. Romance should, perhaps, be spontaneous. But I see nothing wrong with it being scheduled for just this one day of the year. And maybe our wedding anniversary. 

The other point that nobody seems able to agree on is where Valentine's Day originated and where the idea of giving cards and gifts comes from. Some think that St Valentine must have been some very romantic character. Some think that Valentine's Day is an entirely invented event to boost sales of roses and cards. So I did a little research. According to Wikipedia, St Valentine had no connection to romance whatsoever but he was martyred on 14th February, hence the celebration being on that date. St Valentine's Day gained it's romantic connection when Geoffrey Chaucer wrote a poem on the subject in the 14th Century. The concept of giving greetings cards, flowers and confectionery began in the 15th century. So I think its fair to say that its a pretty old tradition. If you need further proof that Valentine's Day wasn't invented within the last few decades in order to get some more cash out of the romantic people of the world, the picture at the top of this post is a Valentine's Card from over a hundred years ago. 

Aside from the historical facts, I like Valentine's Day because I simply think its a nice idea. In the same way as Mother's Day reminds us to be grateful for our mothers, Valentine's Day reminds us to be grateful for our loved ones. As with most things, throwing money at the occasion kind of misses the point, I think. If you're going to show real appreciation and gratitude to your partner, surely you need to put a bit of thought into it? You must be able to come up with some nice sentiments for the person you love. If you're really against spending money, jot it on a post it note.  

Rant-free sentimentality

I must warn you from the beginning of this post; I'm in a bit of a sentimental mood. A good sentimental mood though. The kind of mood where I'm remembering everything I really should feel grateful and happy for every moment of the day. Too often, I'm far too busy grumbling about something silly to realise how lucky I am.

Firstly, there's the other half. Yes, he's not perfect and we do argue. But we also laugh a lot. We sing along to songs together. We far too often simultaneously decide at some point past midnight that we both quite fancy ordering a cheeky takeaway. We can talk endlessly about nothing at all. We both love having a cuddle on the sofa while watching a nice film. He knows when I need a tub of Ben & Jerry's and when I need to be told to get off my backside and get on with my day because he knows I'd regret it if I didn't. He knows all my secrets and I'm fairly sure I know all of his. Plus, he's a pretty bloody brilliant father to the next person on my list of things to be grateful for.

My daughter. Yes, like most 2 year olds, she throws tantrums and sometimes won't stay in bed at night and is clingy at just the time I need to make dinner or carry out some other vital task. But she's also rather amazing. She learns something new every day, if not every hour. She makes me smile like a fool when she whispers "Love you Mummy" in my ear. I marvel constantly that I've created (with help, obviously) such a unique, funny, clever, beautiful little girl. She makes me laugh with delight when she dances around our living room whenever any music comes on. She makes me completely forget that I'm actually very self concious and that singing children's songs in public should really embarrass me. 

My home. We moved here about six months ago and I've never loved a place more. Our little flat is my favourite place I've ever lived. It has it's faults but never has anywhere felt more like a home. Plus it's come with the massive bonus of having two bedrooms so that me and the other half can have some private couple time, to put it delicately, in our own room rather than safely out of earshot in the living room, as we used to in our previous flat. Everything we could need is close by and everyone here is so friendly. My postman helped carry my bags of rubbish downstairs the other day because he could see I was struggling with the pushchair. The supermarket staff are entirely understanding and lovely on the rare occasion when the little monster takes some form of confectionery from a shelf and makes a gooey mess of it or even worse manages to get it out of the shop without me noticing. 

I have many other things to also be grateful for. Some lovely new friends who have made me feel very welcome in our new neighbourhood. My other half's lovely relatives who have made me feel at least partly connected to their family. Our financial situation may be a bit crap at the moment and we're on a constant budget but we're hardly short on material possessions. All in all, I think I've got it pretty good. Actually, very good. I think its important to remember that, from time to time.