Meet The Mummy, The Housewife, The Wife, The Best Friend and The Student

My entire blog is based around the theme of juggling the different aspects of my life. I have found that, to manage my life effectively, I actually need to be five different people. Let me introduce you to them.

No. 1 The Mummy

This is the person I become when playing with my Little Monster. I am completely without shame as I dance around my living room, sing "The Wheels on the Bus" in public and pretend to be a fierce monster who will eat up small children. My main goals are entertaining my daughter and generally having lots of very immature fun, while teaching her lots of important things like how to read.

No. 2 The Housewife

This is the person that pops up when its time to make dinner, get the laundry done or get the flat cleaned up after Mummy and The Little Monster have finished making a mess of it. I am sensible, organised and a little irritable. My goals are to have a clean and tidy flat and a healthy yet tasty meal on the table that has been cooked entirely from scratch. Unfortunately, I don't appear as often as I perhaps should.

No. 3 The Wife

This person has actually existed since I was seventeen but back then was called The Girlfriend, only three years ago becoming The Wife. I am flirtatious, confident and get up to things that would cause The Mummy to blush and The Housewife to tut and shake her head in disapproval (though probably just to cover her jealousy). Many people seem to believe that I disappeared long ago when the Little Monster was born but actually I just don't come out as often as I used to. I usually appear after about 9pm and perhaps during nap time, plus the occasional naughty text message conversation with the Other Half during the day. But it's not all about the sex, I'm also the one that likes a cuddle on the sofa in the evening.

No. 4 The Best Friend

I have known the Other Half for a very long time. For a few years, before The Girlfriend came along, we were just friends. The Best Friend is someone I still become for a little while each day, usually more at weekends. Me and the Other Half play computer and board games, watch comedy films and generally have a good laugh. I am also there for the Other Half when he needs to talk about something or asks for advice that doesn't involve the flat or our daughter.

No. 5  The Student

Though I am called The Student, I am also the part that blogs and writes and reads novels. I am academic, imaginative and, it could be said, a bit selfish. Unlike the other four, I am focussed entirely on myself and my own development and goals. Some days, I am around for hours. Sometimes I am bubbling beneath the surface, desperate to come out and spend some time sitting at the laptop or curled up on the sofa with a good book. Sometimes I am suppressed for days at a time, such as if the Little Monster is ill and needs looking after.

During the course of a day, I have to switch between these personalities at a moment's notice. If The Wife is enjoying some very adult time with the Other Half but there's a sudden noise over the baby monitor, The Mummy needs to appear pretty quickly. They can be a little interchangeable. A combination of The Mummy and The Housewife, for example, gives the rather delightful result of doing the hoovering while dancing to the Queen classic, "I want to break free" (You'll only know why this is delightful if you have seen the video. If you haven't watched it, go away and do so immediately, assuming the cave you're living in has sufficient internet for youtube).

I suppose all parents share this need for switching quickly between roles. The Other Half has the daily task of switching from Daddy mode to Work mode, which must be difficult. I think the typical problem for many couples comes when its time to conjure up their sexual alter-egos when they're completely knackered from being Mummy and Daddy all day long. The key to happiness seems to be getting the balance of each role just right. If anyone figures out how to do that, please let me know.